Every teenage girl has her own struggles. Many struggle, because they have a negative self- image. Self-esteem is all about the mindset that you have. You get to choose whether you have a positive self-image, or a negative one. The key word being choose.
The way that we look at ourselves determines the level of our confidence. If we want to be strong, we simply must have good self-esteem. This sounds too simple, but really, having good self-esteem is simple. Just not easy. There are many factors that bring us down. We have to overcome them in order to have a healthy self-image.
One factor is comparison. Comparison always leaves you unsatisfied. If you live wishing that you were someone else, you’re not living your life. Just a heads up, there is only one you. You are beautiful just the way you are. People want to be with the real you. It’s never enjoyable to be with someone who is negative.
Comparison is all about making someone else’s mark. Our world seems to have standards that girls must meet in order to be good enough. Maybe you have some zits on your face, or your weight isn’t what you want it to be. Oh, and I forgot to mention that your curves just don’t cut it. Basically, girls compare themselves to models on the front of a magazine cover. They don’t even stop to consider that those models aren’t like that in real life. Makeup and technology changes their original appearance.
Next comes values. We all put our values into something. For example, some girls put all of their worth into their looks. If they have pimples on their face, or their having a bad hair day, then they think that they’re useless. Another example, is that some girls rate themselves based on their grades. If they get a bad grade on a test, then they think they must be stupid. That’s not true! Just thinking like that is degrading. It takes away a lot of joy.
Having good self-esteem is simple. Next time you catch yourself thinking that you’re not good enough, start telling yourself that you’re gorgeous. Go look in the mirror and say “girl, you’re beautiful.” Walk around with your head held high. Be confident. Remember, it’s your choice. Make a good decision. Choose to have a positive self-esteem. You won’t regret it.
Making the Mark
We live in a world where many people feel that they have the right to set standards. By this I refer to standards that people must meet in order to be good enough or beautiful enough. Why are people able to do this? No one has a right to say what beautiful is because we are all beautiful in our own ways.
Most stores that you visit host racks of magazines. The covers show pictures of too skinny models and whatnot. Girls look at that and think that they need to be that way. They need to be super skinny in order to be beautiful. This is totally not true! Girls that are too skinny actually lack a nice figure because they are all skin and bones.
Girls also say that if they just lose some weight their curves will show more. This isn’t true whatsoever. If an already slender woman decides to lose more weight, she will look unhealthy and not at all attractive. DON’T tell yourself to lose weight if you are already skinny.
I get how woman want to stay fit and active. I’m one of those people! It is important to eat healthy foods and exercise a certain amount each day. Doing this can make women feel more confident about their bodies’.
When you look in the mirror start to think positively about yourself. Instead of hurting yourself by thinking negatively you can find things that you like about yourself. Maybe you like your eyes or your figure. Whatever part of yourself you love, focus on it. Stop trying to find your flaws because we all have them.
The real message is this: don’t follow the standards of other people. They don’t know you! Make your own standards and start telling yourself that you are beautiful. Live a healthy lifestyle; it helps to boost self-esteem. Be beautiful on the inside because if you are, you will definitely be more beautiful on the outside!
Are you one of those people who gets impatient fairly easily? I definitely am, and I’m working on not getting so impatient all of the time. It is hard. I am running late for school a lot of the time because of my brother. I sit out in the van waiting for him to come out of the door. It takes every ounce of patience I possess to stop me from honking that horn like there’s no tomorrow. It’s hard to not get impatient when it’s someone else’s fault that you are behind, or something like that.
I think that we all have moments in life when we have to clench our hands tightly in our laps in order to keep from blowing up at someone. Some days I just wake up and I am annoyed with everybody even if they haven’t done anything wrong. It’s okay to have a bad day, but it’s not okay to take it out on other people.
Are you familiar with the phrase “patience is a virtue?” I think that we have all heard this at some point in our lives. It is true that patience is a great character trait to have. People like you because they know that you won’t blow up on them randomly.
You also aren’t rude because of your patience. For example, if a friend is trying to tell you a story, and you find it crazy boring, you don’t just interrupt them. You patiently listen to them because you care.
Being patient allows you to have remarkable self-control. Having patience allows you to become a better person and it makes you a better friend. If you are like this, you are going to be beautiful inside and out.
I know that I’m getting repetitive with the whole ‘being beautiful on the inside makes you beautiful on the outside’ thing, but it is so true. I can’t stress how important this is. You could be the most beautiful girl at school with the meanest personality. Boys may flock around you, but once they discover your true character, that attraction might vanish.
Choose to be beautiful by developing your character. Become the woman that you were meant to be. If you’re not sure whether you are beautiful, work on your character. You will become more confident and more likeable.
Patience is worth it.
Click hereInner Beauty
Did you know that one aspect of our health that we have complete control over is attitude? We can choose how we face certain situations and circumstances. We can choose to be optimistic or pessimistic. We have the power to say no to being angry and miserable. You simply have to make good decisions.
Nobody likes to be around someone who is an absolute grump. They aren’t any fun! They sit around complaining because they have some problems in their life. “Why can’t I be prettier? Why can’t I have a better at home life? Why do I have to do this? This is so stupid?” Uh!!! It gets frustrating to hear people complain.
If you change your negative attitude and start becoming positive about everything, you’re going to become a much happier person. You are going to find joy in the little things, and you’re going to be thankful for the blessings that you already have.
What’s the best part about having a great attitude all throughout life? Other people notice! If you’re fun to be around and if you’re not negative, you’re going to become a more attractive person.
Author Karen Casey writes in her book Be Who You Want to Be, “Having a good attitude is easy – all I have to do is think of myself as sunshine, not rain.”
Don’t you just love that! We all have bad days, but when we start getting a bad attitude, we can choose to see the light in a situation instead of the gloom.
Be positive, not negative. It shapes you as a person, which makes you more attractive on the outside!
(Quote from page 92 of Karen Casey’s Be Who You Want to Be.)
Kindness can take you a long way in life. It always feels nice when someone does something specifically for you in order to make you happy. It makes you feel good and it makes the person who was kind to you feel good inside.
Do you ever take the time to go out of your way for people? I don’t always. We live in a world where everyone is trying to gain from the things that they do. I’m just saying, but you do gain from kindness. You don’t get money or anything, but you feel so good inside, and people notice what you do. They may not comment on your actions, but you shouldn’t stop doing good deeds.
Like I said in another blog, if you are beautiful on the inside, you can become more attractive on the outside. You will become more attractive on the outside.
The exact definition of kindness is “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.” It means being selfless and compassionate. I like to think of it as a deliberate act. After a while, it becomes second nature. You can’t help being kind!
How can you be nice to people? That seems like a silly question, but it’s not. We can be nice in so many ways:
An anonymous quote reads like this: “If you can be anything, be kind.”
Make kindness your goal, your dream and your inspiration. Trust me. It’s worth it.
I have already written about how we can seek attention in a good way. However, I really only addressed certain circumstances, like if a group of friends ignore you. Girls can also really struggle with gaining the attention of a guy. You want to pay attention to the points that I discussed in part 1 of this topic. They will definitely affect the type of guy that is attracted to you.
If you get anything out of this, I want you to remember this: Guard your body. It deserves to be taken care of and respected. In Jenna Lucado’s novel Redefining Beautiful she gives a beauty tip that I think all girls should mind: “Modest is hottest.” Don’t you agree? Okay, I know that it might sound like we should be dressing in granny clothes, but that’s not what it means at all!
Lucado also writes “what we wear says a lot about how we expect to be treated.” This is where the “Modest is hottest” thing comes into play. You can still follow all the styles that are in today, but you can also make these styles your own. Don’t show off your body! Cover up everything because it definitely reveals something about your character: that you deserve to be respected by everyone.
Again, Lucado makes a great point with this: “If a guy notices that a girl is wearing clothes that tease his eyes, he will more than likely think she is a girl who is easy and flirty, and he may treat her with less respect. But if we keep the private places private, guys will think we are a little bit more mysterious. They won’t assume that you are someone to take advantage of.”
I love this! I dress in a way that hides everything, and I don’t get unwanted attention from boys because of it. You may think that if you don’t show yourself off a little bit, you aren’t going to ever attract a guy. Here’s a little secret that you need to know: If the guy that you attract only cares about your body, he isn’t worth your time. Every girl deserves someone who loves them for who they are, someone who looks at their heart before they focus on your body.
Gain the respect that you deserve from other people, particularly males, by respecting your body. Dress modestly. You may not get a lot of attention from guys at first, but one day you’re going to meet someone who is attracted to you because of the way you treat your body and because of your heart.
(Quotes are from page 130 in Jenna Lucado’s book Redefining Beautiful.)
Everyone likes to be noticed. It’s just a fact of life. When people ignore you, you feel invisible, like you don’t matter. Here’s the thing: You do matter. Someone is bound to notice your strengths eventually. You just have to wait for the right person to come along.
When people give you the silent treatment, you can react in two different ways: You could change your personality and become an attention-seeker or you could just be yourself and do your own thing. The bad decision would be to become an attention-seeker.
You may wonder why seeking attention isn’t a great thing to do. Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to get someone’s attention. For example, if you have a crush on a super handsome guy, you’re definitely going to want him to notice you. The way that you seek attention is going to affect how people respond to you.
If you try to push your way into someone’s life, you come across as overpowering. They are going to really try to ignore you because you are getting weird. They aren’t going to want to spend time with you and you’re probably going to get hurt even worse than you were before because of this rejection.
If you try to gain attention by quietly going about your business and by doing things to help the people you want to hang out with, they are going to start to notice you. This type of attention-seeking is okay because you aren’t making yourself susceptible to major rejection. If a group of people still ignores you, you should probably go and hang out with another group of people. You don’t want to get hurt, and you don’t want to start getting pushy.
In a book titled Be Who You Want to Be, the author, Karen Casey, makes a great point about attention seeking. She writes, “It’s okay to want attention. Everyone likes it when people notice them. But there are good ways and bad ways to get attention. Bad ways get people’s attention at other people’s expense, like by interrupting them or making jokes about them or teasing them.”
This point is so great because it describes how attention-seeking can have negative impact on your character. If you are rude in order to get someone’s attention, people aren’t going to want to hang out with you.
The message is this: If you want to be a nice person that people like, you have to gain attention in good ways. After all, you don’t want to be known as a rude girl.
(Quotes are from page 53 of Karen Casey’s book Be Who You Want to Be.)
A girl’s worst enemy is herself. She is the one who puts herself down. She is the one who tries to be someone else. She is the one who compares herself to other people and changes herself to fit their ‘criteria’. Comparison can be a dangerous thing. In fact, S.T.A.R. counselor Jen Lados says, “Comparison is the thief of all joys.” How can you be happy if you aren’t satisfied with being you?
How is comparison a dangerous thing? Girls struggle to find their identity because of it. They try to change themselves, whether it be their appearance or personality. They always find the flaws in themselves and fail to see how beautiful they truly are. We are all beautiful in our own way, yet we fail to recognize this. In fact, we all go through a time where we wish we could be someone else. We may not realize it, but we are making life like a competition. A competition in which there is no winner.
There is only one you. If you try to be someone else you are not only robbing yourself of happiness, but you are denying people the chance to see the real you. This leaves everyone unsatisfied. It leaves you vulnerable and negative. Once you start thinking that you’re not enough, you won’t stop thinking like this. You may, but it can be extremely hard to get back onto your path. The path that leads to you and your life.
If you want to be you and not be negative about it, you have to fight against the criticism that fills your mind. Look at yourself in a mirror and say that you’re beautiful. Stop trying to be someone else and embrace who you already are. Don’t let the thief known as comparison steal your joy.
Who are you?
We can all answer this simple question by filling in the blank with a name. But does your name define you? I don’t think so. Grace Nunn is my name, but that’s not who I am.
We all have an identity. In fact, some people steal identities. Here’s my question: Are they truly becoming that person by taking their name? I don’t think so.
If someone stole your identity, you would still be you. There is only one you. We are all different, all beautiful in our own way. We all have different passions, likes and dislikes. We all look different.
If someone stole your identity are they stealing you?
You are you! No one can take that away from you. You are who you are.
The problem in our society is that people aren’t satisfied with their identities. They try to be like someone else. By doing this you are robbing yourself of your own identity. There is only one you. Embrace this by being yourself. Find out how you want to make a difference. Choose the career that you love. Stop caring about what other people think and just be you!
If you stop being yourself and struggle to grab onto your identity, you are not only robbing yourself of happiness, you are robbing the world of getting the chance to see you for who you really are.
Be bold. Be beautiful. Be you. By doing these things you will strengthen your identity. Don’t ever try to be someone else. You are needed.
Are you one of those people who worries about every little thing? I kind of am. I get so caught up on worrying about the future that I don’t enjoy the present. That isn’t a great way to live, and I know this. There are ways to control the worry, ways that will make life so much more enjoyable. It takes a lot of determination, but it can be done. You just have to choose to overcome the fear.
Worrying never helps any situation. It only adds to the stress. Anxiety accumulates until you feel like you’re going to choke from the pressure of it all. Here are some great tips to calm down:
Corrie ten Boom once said, “Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength – carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”
Doesn’t that make so much sense? Worrying really steals our strength away from us. I know that it’s super hard to get rid of fear, but it is doable. Just don’t let worry steal your joy. Living a joyless life can be a lonely place to be.